Talk To Me ♥1: You want to date a Korean guy? Then this is what to be expected!

It seems like Korean guys are in demand because many of my single girlfriends have been telling me how much they’d like to learn Korean to date Korean boys. Well well. Quite understandable considering how men are portrayed in all these Korean MVs, dramas, and movies. But really, that’s like saying I want to date a Lawyer after watching Suite. Unfortunately, boys are boys – even in Korea. They sometimes go MIA (missing in action), put friends over you, breaks your heart, forget your birthday etc. But I must say that there is some merit to Korean boys’ dating style that is hard to match. So here, I list out some of the common occurrences of dating a Korean guy based on my personal experience and of the experiences of my lovely Korean girlfriends. Note that there are many Korean guys out there, and there are many exceptions. This is just my personal experience, please read it with a light heart.

Since I am dating a Korean guy I think now I have some credits to tell you what it’s like to date a Korean guy.

So what is it like to have a Korean boyfriend?

 ♥ Korean guys are great at keeping in touch, constantly. This made it hard for me to adapt to other guys that were texting 2,3 messages per day or every two three days because Korean guys will text you every day. Many also call you every day. It’s not that they’re more/less into you; I think it’s a norm. You get freaking spoiled (sometimes annoyed) by how much they will contact you, but this means anxiety triples when they become missing in action.

♥ Do dress up on your dates because these Korean boys will dress up/suit up every time they take you out. It’s not uncommon for a guy to show up wearing a shirt, khaki, a blazer, matching shoes, and perfectly done hair – to a date at an amusement park. They often dress like they've popped out of print ads in magazines. Some extremely self-aware guys would put on bb-cream, color contact lens (this one is more rare), and fake heels inside the shoes. (My boyfriend didn't but some Korean guys did this.) But don’t be too impressed because it’s probably 50% for other people to see, 30% for themselves, and 20% for you. Regardless, it’s good to see guys putting as much effort into looking nice and “dolling” up, but they would expect you to do the same.

♥ I heard in some countries, guys stop paying after 2,3 dates, or even on second dates it’s common to go dutch. In Korea, I don’t think I used more than $5 on a date for the first 20 dates or so. Although there seems to be a shift in this dynamic very recently, it’s still very normal for guys to be the one getting tab all the time. Once you get serious, then the paying becomes a bit more even, maybe girls pay 3:7/4:6. Most of the time, they don’t want you to pay. You can easily get used to this - oops! I sound like such a bad person in hindsight - But there are consequences that follow. For instance, while it’s extremely subtle, they may exert more authority or expect you to show more “child-like” behaviors. It can be patronizing at times.

♥ In Korea, age determines how you refer to one another (unlike in Indonesia where everyone calls each other names). When a guy is older than a girl, the girl refers to this guy as “Oppa.” But it really doesn't matter how old you are, because if a guy is interested in you, he’ll try to act like an Oppa anyways. I’m sure most of you have heard of this phrase through Psy’s Gangnam Style. This phrase carries an odd mix of varying sentiments that ranges from being responsible, protective, to having more power, status, and right. One thing that Korean guys seem to enjoy doing is refer to themselves as “Oppa.” For instance, instead of saying “I’ll buy you dinner/I’ll do that for you,” they will say “Oppa will buy you dinner/ Oppa will do that for you.” Seriously, when a guy that I’m not too interested does this, every bit of hair on my body stands up. Good thing that comes with this phenomenon is that Korean guys in general are very responsible and almost trained to take care of girls in all ways possible.

♥ When walking on the sidewalk, they always make sure they are on the outer lane closer to the cars

♥ They will take off their coat for you in cold weather

♥ They arrive ten minutes early to dates and don’t mind waiting few minutes (I think some expect girls to be late).

♥ Anything heavy or difficult to do, they feel responsible to solve/do it for the girl.

♥ If you call them for help in the middle of the night (even at 2,3 in the morning), most of them will help you

♥ So one of the oddest/coolest part of Korean dating culture is that couples celebrate gazillion and one things. Let me list a few that I have celebrated:

1 month (2 month, 3 month and so on), 100th day, 200th day, 300th day (and counting - I have reached the 600th day), 1 year, Valentine’s day, White day, Christmas, Children’s day, Pepero day, Rose day, Kiss day, Thanksgiving, New Years, and of course birthdays.

♥ On these occasions, I've learned that girls should expect the guy to prepare some sort of “surprise” – it’s not very surprising once you realize that it’s always going to be a bouquet of roses, a teddy bear, cake, and candles. But still, it’s very sweet that guys will go such lengths to do things for the girls they like. It’s tiring on guys, you’d say? But sometimes it’s the guys that are more into stuff like this. As much as guys go crazy with these celebrations, girls also put equal effort in preparing – often some hand-made stuff for their special other.

♥ Another thing that Korean boyfriends commonly suggest are couple items like couple rings (makes it hard to tell who is married or just dating), couple shoes, couple cellphone cases, couple smartphones, couple data plan (where you have unlimited data between you two), couple diary, couple chat application, couple (fill in your own blank). I know many of my non-Korean friends find this freaky, but I must say couple things are kind of cute. You get used to it.

In general, Korean guys are more “hardworking” when it comes to relationships. But that doesn't mean its all roses and butterflies; there are also things that are particularly stressful when dating Korean guys..

♥ I guess all this chivalry comes with consequences. Not all, but surely many Korean boyfriends will ask to check your phone, kakaotalk or what-nots. They expect to know your entire schedule in and out and also expects you to update him on your life constantly. This can be a bit frustrating, but girls often expect the same from guys so it’s a mutual thing I suppose. - Fortunately my boyfriend never check my phone and I did the same as well - It’s always really hard to have a girl’s night out if one of the girl is in a relationship. Getting permission almost never worked because they’d be calling constantly and checking up on her. 

♥ The tolerance of acceptable interaction with the opposite gender is vastly lower for couples in Korea.

Some things that I witnessed Korean couples often fight about:

- Tex-ting an opposite gender

- Calling an opposite gender

- Talking to an opposite gender

- Looking at an opposite gender

So basically anything that has to do with the opposite gender is a no. Okay, I may be exaggerating a tiny bit, but Korean couples tend to be extremely bonded and with such bond comes such craziness. I guess people are crazy when they’re in love. (once again, me and my boyfriend never have this kind of jealousy lol I don't know why. Not all of Korean guys are like this okay.)

♥ I think breakups rarely end in good terms among Korean couples. I rarely see Korean couples continuing to be friends after a break-up. 

♥ Meeting friends of a Korean boyfriend is one of the most stressful parts of the ordeal. So in my experience, they put you on a pedestal and subtlety judge you. Once you break into the group, they will love and protect you forever, but it’s really hard to break into the bubble. The key to this meet is to dress like a news broadcaster (think pastel colored conservative outfit that is flattering but classy), wear minimal make-up, and be super, super nice. Pretend you’re there to serve them.  It doesn't matter if that’s not the real you, because the real you is not what they want to see. Be comfortable, but also be tense (if that’s even possible).

So dating a Korean guy can be amazing one moment and awfully confusing another. But like with any culture, being in a relationship requires work from both partners. Also, most problems can be overcome with appropriate communication. It’s just important to learn the “norms” of the dating eco-system your love subject is part of to avoid misunderstandings. 

Well, I hope you like today's blog post and if you have anything you are curious about Korean guys, leave it in the comment box below! 

Source: 한.캐 블로그

( with a little bit of editing xx)

Petite Little Lady

xx

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How did you meet your significant other?

If you're in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other? 

Here's our story from almost 2 years ago...

Now, do you ever worry that you won't meet your soul mate?

When I was single, I felt the same way. I was meeting lots of people--but no one I really wanted to date. And the guys I did like already had girlfriends (or just weren't interested, sad). My mom kept telling me that I would definitely end up with someone fabulous and that I shouldn't worry so much. She said she was 100% sure and that it was normal to worry but that I didn't need to. But it was easy for her to say--she was already blissfully married! Plus, Korea seemed like the roughest place to date: You're always surrounded by beautiful and skinny girls (honest-to-goodness perfect-skinned girls), and the guys you meet seem to either be in a relationship or a little nuts.

Once I met SooHong, I realized that I was silly to have worried so much. We're all such smart, funny and wonderful people, and so many people would be lucky to have us. Why does it often take a relationship to realize that? Plus, as my mom says, "It only takes one person to have met the love of your life!" A while ago, I heard another great quote: "If you knew you were going to meet the love of your life in one year, how different would that year be?" That awesome quote reveals how much we sometimes worry about our dating lives when we could be relaxing and enjoying other parts of our lives.

P.S. What's your relationship status? What are your dating woes? Do you ever worry that you're never going to find your soul mate? Do you think your city plays into it? If you're in a relationship, how do you feel now? I would love to hear about it xoxo

One humid summery morning, someone who works in my University (he is Korean) - let's call him Mr. M - said that he want to introduced someone to me and obviously he is a guy. I was thinking, I have nothing to do and there's nothing wrong to expand your connection (plus I love meeting new person!). So the next day, I am on my way to meeting Mr. M and his friend but fortunately I'm not alone since there're my friends as well. We were a bit late (Indonesian are always late lol) and we were just talking to each other when all of a sudden, a handsome bespectacled guy walked in. He was completely my type, and I knew I wanted to get to know him more. So we finally arrived in this cafe called "Ododoc". We didn't talk much at our first meeting since I was so shy but our first conversation was about how he is a photographer and he is going to Yeosu by tomorrow. Nothing really special on that day except he keeps taking photos of me which make me blushed! I'm tring really hard not to blush okay.. At the end of the day, we said goodbye and I gave him a lingering glance, while we changing our phone number.

Well, What happened next?

Sadly, as I said before he is going to Yeosu for one week or so by tomorrow so we didn't meet for a while after our first meeting and I was busy with my TOPIK exam as well. We sometimes chat but he doesn't show any signal that he's interested in me. Which is sad but I realized that he's 27 (when we first met - now he's 29) and I was 19 which is probably why he won't be into me. But still I enjoyed talking to him since he's so funny and always can put a smile on my face just by chatting! 

When he finally came back to Busan, he text me and said that he want to gave us (me and my friend) a present from Yeosu. That's very thoughtful of him! Too bad all of my friends didn't have the time to take the present so I went to receive their present as a substitution. And good things come to those who wait patiently! He asked me to go out and watch movie with him! I still remember what movie it was. It was "Dark Knight" and I haven't watch it as well! So I said,  yeah I would love to go to a movie with you! 

This is where it sounds a little bit lovey dovey. We were watching the movie and at one point, our hands brushed, which made my heart race. And I was so embarrassed that I have to go to the restroom. The movie was really awesome but my heart was in my throat as we watched the movie together. 

But I don't think this is our first date since it's NOT our first date. We were just watching movie as a friend back then, I think?

A week after that he told me that tomorrow he is going to participate in this flash mob in Haeundae Beach. I was really confused at that time because he didn't literally invited me so I didn't thinking to pay him a visit there but by the next day he was asking me "will you come today?" and I was like still lazying around in my bed! So I asked all my friends did they want to seeing his flash mob but unfortunately everyone was busy - again - so I had a really hard time in deciding should I go or not. In the end I decided to go, yes, all by myself. *cries* The reason why I was scared to go alone is because I still didn't know how to go there and so on but well I guess love is stronger that anything, eh? 

Unfortunately, when I've arrived the flash mob was already started so I just see a glimpse of it but it's still worth it! He looks soooo adorable! hahaha He was shocked to see me there though because he didn't think I would come. I'm pretty shocked my self until this day! After the flash mob came to an end, we just went and play arcade game, we also went to a cafe where he used to go a lot back then. We spent our evening getting to know each other. 

Then he walked me home and I was really curious whether is he smoking and drinking beer a lot like a normal Korean guys? Well, I'm not judging everyone who smoke and drink a lot of beers but one of my boyfriend material shouldn't smoke and drink (well, sometimes you can drink but not a lot). And guess what?

HE SAID HE DIDN'T!

And he jokingly asked me, "do I look like someone who smoke and drink a lot??" 

That makes me like him even more but I thought to myself, we will never ever getting together anyway.

So he walked me home again and I was really tired that day so I'm intended to take a nap right away when suddenly he text me, "are you free tomorrow? If you are free, let's go on a date with me :)"

And I'm happy and shocked at the same time! Is this some kind of joke or what?

But fortunately he said it wasn't a joke - if it's a joke I will probably kick his butt lol - and we went to a temple the next day. Yes it's our first date and he pick the best place for out first date! It's really show how considerate of him :)

When we arrived, we just had our lunch in a famous restaurant near the temple

Jjajjangmyun

Jjampong

So after we already feeling full, we decided to entering the temple but it was quite far from the restaurant since you have to hiking a bit hahaha but this is when things got sweeter. He hold my hand and didn't let go that whole day which is really sweet I think?

 And he's treating me like his girlfriend even though we're not a couple.

Let me show you our first date spot!

 

 Isn't it beautiful?

After we finished sightseeing we went to my University area and went to a cafe. And it was pretty awkward because I don't know what should I say and he is the same way when finally he asked me "Do you like me?" and I was like duh-uh of course isn't it obvious enough but I just said that "Uhmm... yeah I guess I like you enough to go on a date with you? *goofy laughing*" And he was all smiling and asked me again "나랑 사귈래?" which means "would you want to be my girlfriend?" and well yes that's how we officially dating :P

Another funny thing was, since we both really liked each other, we were searching for signs during the date that the other person was (or wasn't) into it. I got nervous when he didn't hold my hand in the movie and he later admitted that he thought the date was shot when I didn't lean on his armrest at the movie, but instead leaned toward the other side. So funny how nervous people can be when first dating!

Needless to say, it worked out, despite the armrest gaffe.

To be honest, a lot of people have been asking me "what does it feels like to date a Korean guy?" Well, of course there are language barrier, different culture, and of course our age gap is quite big (8 years age difference) so it's like we have generation gap since I'm 90's generation and he's 80 generation lol. But all of those barrier can't stop you from loving somebody. Age is just a number. You can learn their language and they can learn yours. For culture, just make sure that you are open to the possibility that you two will have cultural differences, due to your differing beliefs, habits and practices. Because of the cultural differences between the two of you, there will be a big possibility that you will not get along well, which can lead to conflicts and arguments. It is difficult for a relationship to last if the two people involved have different views and approach in life. Also I knew that in Korea, dating a foreigner is still a taboo because of the older generation but it's changing gradually so I was lucky that's my boyfriend parents are really open minded :)  

"I have memorized your smile. The way the right side of your mouth creases at the corner and the rest of your mouth follows, lighting your whole face up. 

I know how you talk, the things you say most often, how your voice sounds at 3am or when you've just woken up. 

I know what books you like to read, I know what type of music you listen to, I know that sometimes you are afraid. I know that you worry about me, despite me telling you that you shouldn't.

I know you tickle me because you think the noise I make is cute.

You are so beautifully flawed. You have made mistakes, and I know that. I accept you for who you are and I will never ask you to change. I love you."

Well, I hope you are enjoying this long post about how I met my boyfriend! Sorry if it's boring and there's not much pictures since we didn't took a lot of pictures back then (we were shy okayyy hahaha). See you on my next post! Stay tuned xx

P.s. What about you guys? What did you do on your first dates with your main squeezes (or past boyfriends/girlfriends)? I'd love to hear about it xoxo

Love always,

Petite Little Lady

xx

 Where to find me :

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It's your day!

"Dear boyfriend,"
Your smile is comforting. It doesn't shine radiantly and the heavens don't roll behind you. You smell like you, but I wouldn't compare it to roses or anything. You laugh and I can hear all the good come out of you, but there is never church bells ringing in the background. You're human, and you have the same amount of flaws I would expect that I have. Happy Birthday. I will always love you. Now and until forever ends.

Hey guys! I know that I've been away for a good one week. And it's because of my mid term. Oh, I really stressed out last week. It feels like I have lost thousands of hairs during the mid term week, no joking. But well, let's don't dwell on the past! I've done my best so I guess there's no regret! 

Now now... You guys told me to write about how I lost my weight and how did I met my boyfriend which basically will took quite a lot of time to write! It's on process by now, so thank you for those who wait patiently! But today, I won't post about those topic because it's still not finished yet! I'm so sorry! I will try to post it as soon as possible!

What's I'm going to write about today is about my boyfriend's birthday at 29th April. Wait... 29th April is tomorrow so why do I make the birthday post the day before his birthday? Actually, he work in Ulsan which is 2 hours away from Busan and I can't celebrate his birthday on the exact date. That's why I came up with the idea to celebrate it 2-3 days earlier. Well, actually I had a really hard time to find a cute surprise idea but I can't find one. And this semester all those presentations, homework, and documentary project are killing my free time, really. In the end, I'm thinking of doing a little surprise party in his home. I basically called his mom 3 weeks before the surprise and we planning to surprise him in the morning. But so many things goes wrong. I'm intended to go to his home at 9 a.m but suddenly he told me that he's going out at 9 to cut his hair. So I change the plan, I wake up at 6 and took a bus at 7. It took me 1 hour to arrived at his home so I arrived at 8 a.m. The funniest thing is that when I wake up at 6 a.m, I saw my Kakao talk notification from my boyfriend. He send me a message but I already fall asleep so I just read it  in the morning. My boyfriend know that I always wake up quite late. Around 8 or 9 o'clock. So I just read the message and didn't reply it. But a few minutes after I read his text, he suddenly send me a new text "Good Morning!", which scares me to death! I was like super panic!!! So in the end, I didn't read the message and just went to his home lol When I arrive at his home, I'm trying to lit up the candles but it didn't works!!! I don't know why but I'm too frustrated so I give up and went into his home. When I'm entered his room, he is shirtless. Yes, SHIRTLESS. HAHAHAHA. I was worried he might heard the doors open but fortunately he didn't because he's playing games at the times so he's using headphones. 

Let me show you the video that I took when I surprise him :P

He was shirtless so that's why he is really shy and suddenly roll himself in his blanket lol

I was really happy because I thought my plan works!!! He didn't know it's coming! 

But...

But...

But...

HE KNEW!

He just suddenly call me and told me to hear a voice note in his phone.

"Dear, I just want to say I know that you are going to surprise me this morning. Do you know why? Because you have a pure heart and you always have this kind of look when you are going to do something, I just knew. And I like that about you, I like that you are predictable and pure. I know that you are going to be sad if I told you this but I can't help it because you are so lovable and that's one of your charm. So, thank you and I love you."

When I heard this voice note I was crying. A lot. Hahahaha. I am a cry baby. He was shocked too to see that I'm crying while hearing his voice note. I don't exactly know why I cried too. He even jokingly said that "Isn't this is my birthday?? Why are you the one who cry?" Maybe it's because he know me so much. Way much better that I know myself. And that he's still thankful for every little thing that I do for him. 

Moving on!

After I wipe those tears, we all ready to have some breakfast. And honestly, his mom make the best Korean food I have ever taste! I just love home made foods!!!

Looks healthy and taste good as well!

Before we start eating, we decided to took a few photos lol

The birthday boy with his parents as well!

Really thankful for my boyfriends parents. Well, there are a lot of Korean parents who dislike their son or daughter dating foreigners. But they didn't and they treat me like their own daughter. Despite of my poor korean skills they are still really nice to me. It just feels like I have a second family in Korea.

The cake for the birthday boy! It's 정항우 케익 (JONGHANGWOO Cake) which is quite popular in Korea. Now, I know the reason why. It taste so good like it's just melting in your mouth really! #Cakegasm!

And time to sing the birthday song as well as blow the candle!

We had our breakfast and have a little chit chat. My boyfriend goes to work for a while and I'm waiting at his home with his parents. And at night we just watched "DIVERGENT" movie which was UH-MAZING! I wish I can watch them for hundred of times!!! Highly recommended! 

So the first day just ended like that. Let's moving on to the second day which is, Sunday.

For this second day I'm trying to book some fine dining restaurant in Busan but damn there are a lot of problem while I'm trying to book these restaurant. 1 of them are closed for business, 1 of them are full booked, 1 of them changed into another restaurant, and the last one is on renovation. It's pretty crazy and hectic. How can my top 4 restaurants choices are impossible to book for my boyfriend's birthday?!

And when I almost lost hope, I found a restaurant but unfortunately it's quite far and you should go there by car since it's located so high. I think, screwed that. I will find the way for us to get there. There are buses, subway, taxi in Korea so I am sure that we can make it there. 

So off we go, we took the bus and we have to exchange to another village bus that took us around one and a half hour to reach the district where the restaurant is. But the area is really broad and we have to do a little hiking to reach the restaurant. Thanks God, It didn't raining that day. But it was quite windy and my hair looks like a mess when we arrived there. It took around 25 minutes by walking I guess? 

"COTTAGE"

This is the restaurant we went to and you can also the amazing view from up here! (You also have to book a table if you want to come here so at least book it 2 or 3 weeks before the D-date!)

And also don't forget a glass of red wine to sum it up!  *wink*

A classy and elegant interior inside COTTAGE restaurant.

So we get inside and choosing what to eat for lunch!

And we decided to eat lunch set B and C.

Now get ready for some #foodporn and #foodgasm :P

I won't lie. This is probably one of the most delicious bread I have ever taste in my life. Hands up!

Salmon graviax with white wine vinaigrette.

Mixed garden greens with assorted wild mushroom. The mushroom is very chewy and have a really great aroma to it. I have to pick this one as the best dish out of the course!

Bell-pepper soup. I'm not a fan of bell-pepper but this is quite legit! So delicious!

Pasta with seasonable anchovy (from Gi-Jang).oil 

Seppia pasta with seafood cream sauce

Char-grilled wagyu tri-tip steak

Char-grilled Korean beef tenderloin steak

 Pistachio cream brulee

Citrus olive oil cake with orange jelly and vanilla ice cream

And of course we also took some narcissism photos lol

The birthday boy!

Just busy updating here and there lol

That face though when the food finally came out and as always I just have to took some photos :P

 

And now it's time for (second) birthday cake to come out! 

Happy birthday my love♥

And a video of us! Well it's basically just I'm saying that today is my boyfriend birthday and he was like "Hey, no that's not true! My birthday is still in two days!" hahahaha 

And of course my birthday present for him♥

Really glad that he love the watch♥

After we done eating, we decided to took some pictures in the terrace because it was quite sunny!

Simple OOTD!

 And on our way back home, we also decided to stop by to took more photos because the view are just too pretty to be missed! *wink*

Our couple OOTD, blue because we are spending the day in the ocean ;)

As usual our couple photos! (The proper one)

And the not so proper one lol This is really candid!

Boyfriend made a ring from wild flowers for me. This little sweet thing that he do is just ♥

Not even a diamond ring can replace this beautiful thing!

A proper OOTD shot!

Showing off my flower rings :P

 And that's a wrap! I know it's a very long post so thanks for bearing with all my babbling! I hope you enjoy this post and see you guys on my next post. Leave a comment below what do you think about my (failed) attempt to throw my boyfriend's birthday surprise? Do you have any sweet surprise memories on your birthday? Would love to hear your story too! xx

Love always,
Petite Little Lady
 xx

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